Bleach:  Bored and Mischievous Souls
by DocMui
Summary: Ichigo, Rukia and Orihime are reminded why Soul Reapers should keep their patrols short.  No triangles were harmed in the making of this story.


Bleach: Bored and Mischievous Souls

At Karakura High School, everything seemed to be going normally. Things had been quiet for a while, and apart from the occasional Hollow attack, nothing seemed terribly out of the ordinary.

Orihime noticed that Ichigo was looking very pensive. Actually, though he seemed as aloof as ever, she could tell that he seemed almost embarrassed about something. The fact that he couldn't quite look Rukia in the eye bothered her.

"Did something happen?" she asked him after class.

Ichigo's mouth twisted, and there was a definite undercurrent of embarrassment. He made a sound that wasn't quite coherent as he chanced a look at Rukia. The short Soul Reaper frowned and looked away for a moment, then sighed.

"You might as well tell her," Rukia said. "It'll just be more awkward if you wait."

"Tell me what?" Orihime asked. "What's wrong?"

Ichigo scowled even deeper and frowned. Was it her imagination, or was he blushing a bit?

"I was wondering if—"he hesitated for a moment, then continued. "If you could heal up some…bruises."

Orihime brightened up. "Oh, I can take care of that! Where are the bruises?"

Ichigo cleared his throat and waved in the general area of his lower abdomen. He couldn't seem to keep a straight face, nor could he look Orihime in the eye. This definitely got her attention.

"Maybe we should go home and take care of it," Rukia suggested. "We could always say that we're studying together."

Orihime nodded, but couldn't help the unspoken interplay between Ichigo and Rukia. They both looked terribly embarrassed and mortified. She wondered what had happened.

Isshin Kurosaki was never terribly restrictive when it came to Ichigo. Granted, he constantly tried to stage surprise attacks on his son with disturbing enthusiasm, but he was never a severe father. The elder Kurosaki had no problems whatsoever with his son being alone with two attractive young ladies. Still, he kept an almost empty glass in his hand as he promised to call them for dinner.

"These don't look so bad," Orihime commented. "Did you get these in a fight?"

"No, not exactly," Ichigo replied. Behind him, Rukia turned away.

"They're too small to be from a fight," Orihime continued. She pointed at the multiple bruises on his abs. The redheaded girl's eyebrows rose as she realized the shape of the bruises. "Are these-?"

"They're hickeys," Ichigo confirmed. He tried to keep his voice level.

"Rukia?" Orihime asked. "Did you-?"

It was the petite brunette's turn to blush. "It's not what you think."

Orihime Inoue enjoyed many things, but a good mystery was not one of them. She especially didn't like it when two of her dearest friends were obviously feeling some tension.

"Would somebody please tell me what's going on?"

"Is that Orihime?" A yellow, plush head popped out of a desk drawer. With superhuman speed, Kon launched himself from the desk straight towards Orihime's generous chest, only to be intercepted by Ichigo's fist.

"Ow!" the plush toy exclaimed, falling straight to the floor. This was repeated several times as he was stomped on by both Ichigo and Rukia. This was actually out of habit, as the toy didn't feel pain. "What, are you still sore about yesterday?"

"Wait, what happened yesterday?" Orihime asked.

Kon righted himself and sat up. He mimed dusting himself off.

"Sheesh," he commented. "That's no way to treat my sexy body."

Orihime knelt down, not noticing that the plush toy's eyes were fixated on her chest. "Kon, what happened yesterday?" she repeated.

"What, they didn't tell you?" Kon jerked a clawed paw over to Ichigo and Rukia. They looked distinctly uncomfortable.

Orihime shook her head. Kon took note at the movement that produced.

"Well, unless you two want to say something…" He glared at the duo. Both of them were practicing the obscure Olympic sport of counting ceiling tiles.

"Anyway, Ichigo and Rukia were out on patrol yesterday. So, seeing as how they didn't want his body just lying around, I got to spend some time in it. Chappy was in Rukia's body, and honestly, we were bored. So, we just looked through Ichigo's school books.

"Let me tell you, this kid has some of the most boring classes I've ever seen. Of course, I've never been to school, but a lot of it was about to put me to sleep—until Chappy finds his biology book. Then, she goes downstairs to borrow a book from Ichigo's dad, something about the human body.

"So, we both do some reading, especially about how the body works. Chappy got to this one chapter ahead of me, and she had this smile on her face. The next thing I know, I'm on the bed and my shirt is pushed above my stomach. She's making these funny kisses on my stomach that hurt and felt good at the same time. I'm about to understand something about Ichigo's body when both of them show up."

"Oh," was Orihime's reply. Glancing at her friends, she noted that both of them had gotten progressively more red-faced.

"So, I'm the first to get evicted and sent back to my regular body. Then, Rukia gets Chappy to spit out her pill. Both of them get back in their bodies, and they've got these funny looks on their faces. Rukia just went wide-eyed and squirmed a little."

Rukia still wouldn't meet Orihime's gaze. "I was sweaty," the brunette protested. "Chappy got my body all worked—I needed a bath."

"Yeah," Kon agreed. "And Ichigo was doing a lot of deep breathing exercises."

"It was a busy patrol," Ichigo said. "I needed to relax."

"Right, it was the patrol," Kon said, nudging an elbow at Ichigo's leg. For the jibe, he was rewarded with a stomp. "Ow!"

"Is this all true?" Orihime asked. There was something simple and pure about the way she phrased the question. It wasn't an accusation. She just wanted to know.

Ichigo and Rukia briefly met each other's eyes, and then turned their gaze towards Orihime. They both nodded in unison.

"I see." Orihime clapped her hands together and smiled. "Well, that's no problem. I'll take care of the bruises. Just be careful not to let that happen again, okay?" she said cheerfully.

Ichigo and Rukia blinked. They knew that Orihime liked things simple, but—to let it go like that?

It didn't even take five minutes for Orihime to erase the hickeys. As she left the room, she beamed a sunny smile to her friends. They waved back, albeit awkwardly.

"Ichigo?" Rukia asked.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"Let us never, ever speak of this again."

"Speak of what?"

"I can't remember."

Their moment of peace was interrupted by Isshin Kurosaki trying to drop-kick Ichigo. With a resigned sigh, the orange-haired teenager countered the move and slammed his father face-first into the grass.

"Nice going, son!" Isshin commented, although this was muffled. Propping himself up, he wiped off grass and dirt from his face. "So, how's Orihime doing? Is everything okay?"

Ichigo and Rukia shared a brief look. "Yeah, we worked something out."

Isshin grinned and clapped his son on the back. "That's good. Dinner's waiting, and you know how Yuzu gets about us being late."

Rukia hesitated before going inside. She looked at the receding figure of Orihime, then back at the Kurosaki household. With a sigh and a faint smile, she went in for dinner.

Isshin stopped her and gave her a faintly stern look. The elder Kurosaki made sure that Ichigo was out of earshot.

"By the way, I don't mind loaning you my books, but could you not write in them? These aren't cheap to replace."

He pulled out a copy of Gray's Anatomy and flipped to a certain page. Rukia turned red as she noted the commentary beside that part of the male anatomy, complete with a bunny face.

She resolved to have a very long discussion with the little soul.

The End


End file.
